The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays everyone, it's The Star Wars Holiday Special! The Star Wars Holiday Special is a two hour long special (approx 90 minutes sans-commercials) which aired only once on November 17, 1978, that's post-New Hope/Pre-Empire Strikes Back. Directed by Steve Binder and authored by more writers than you would think it would take, The Star Wars Holiday Special is possibly the most abysmal thing I've ever seen- both because of it's association with an otherwise fine movie series and it's shear awfulness. To be fair, the special was never aired again after its original broadcast and Lucas himself (who had little to nothing to do with the project) practically refuses to acknowledge its existence. An official VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray release does not seem likely. Before seeing it for myself, I had always heard about it in passing jokes regarding how terrible it was. Even still, no amount of casual conversation could have prepared me for this glimpse into hell itself. This is The Star Wars Holiday Special.

The special starts off promising enough as we watch Han Solo (actually played by Harrison Ford) and his pal Chewie fleeing an Imperial Star Destroyer in order to get the latter home to spend time with his family on Life Day. Not a great plot, but holiday specials tend to be that way, so I'm forgiving. Shortly after he makes the jump to lightspeed, we get the opening titles which quickly let us know that most of the main actors of Star Wars will appear in character as part of the special. As the credits extend into actors, actresses, and characters who've never been introduced in the series, our hope for something entertaining begins to falter (If you think Beatrice Arthur belongs in the Star Wars universe, God help you). This is The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Once the opening titles subside, we find ourselves joining Chewbacca's family which includes a child, wife, and grandfather. The special subjects us to nine minutes of nothing but Wookie dialogue as these creatures communicate with one another. The only interruption is a painful hologram circus that the child activates and watches with an expression that reeks of insanity. After sitting through nine minutes of interaction that is only understandable through overly exaggerated pantomiming, we get our first 'finally' moment when Mark Hamill shows up as Luke Skywalker to calm Chewie's wife regarding her worries that her husband is late for Life Day. The cameo is over too soon though as we switch over to a gadget/trinket salesman trying to communicate with Chewie's wife in the presence of the most evil Imperial officer ever. He tells her that the shaggy carpet she ordered should be on its way and the person that made it did it by hand, solo....Ok, a part of me appreciates corny jokes, so I'll actually give the special credit for that one, but the setup for it was a little sloppy. But seriously, how come we were treated to nine minutes of Wookie family time, and only two of Luke Skywalker, only to be turned over to yet another character we don't care about. This is the formula of The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Some of the appearances the special advertised in the beginning aren't even legit. Darth Vader's 'cameo' is just a series of deleted scenes from the first Star Wars film edited to look like he's vaguely talking about the events of the holiday special. We get a cooking show, a musical number in a bar from Bea Arthur, and several other moments that just feel out of place. The only somewhat interesting element in the whole thing is the first appearance of Boba Fett in a cartoon featured during the show. I'm half-way through rewatching the special in order to write this, and I can't bring myself to finish it. It's funnily awful for awhile, but then you realize that it's the cinematic equivalent of torture, and no person should have to subject themselves to it multiple times. That is the Star Wars Holiday Special.



I need some egg nog. Happy Holidays to all, and I hope to return to my old regularly posting self as I enter the new year.

Angel: Season One Trailer

This is one of the finest fan-made trailers I have ever seen. It actually makes me want to rewatch the whole first season, and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody gets in touch with this guy to advertise Blu-ray releases of the show somewhere down the line.

Paper Heart (2009)

Every once in awhile, a movie comes along that syncs up so well with my own personal tastes that it almost feels as though it were a movie I had made but had forgotten about. In its exploration of love, Paper Heart is one of those movies. Paper Heart has been called a hybrid documentary as it carries both fiction and non-fiction elements given in the documentary style. It's focus is comedian Charlyne Yi as she travels the U.S. asking people what love is, and all the while wondering if it's something she can or will even find. Along the way, she forms a seemingly promising relationship with actor Michael Cera. Will the demands of the documentary and her skepticism prevent her from finding what might be the oh-so-coveted 'true love' of her life? Or will a romantic epiphany strike her with the realization that The Beatles had it right, "All you need is love?" To find out, you'll just have to watch.

Paper Heart is written by Charlyne Yi with the help of director Nicholas Jasenovec. Their choice to make the film a mockumentary gives aid to the budding relationship of Michael and Charlyne. It allows for the smaller quirky moments to feel more natural than it might in a traditional romantic comedy. The insertion of interviews of real people (I'm assuming those were the real elements) throughout the film always felt welcome as they not only presented their own love stories (which are reinterpreted with charming puppet theater), but they each gave their own accounts of what the definition of love is. Hearing so many different points of view lends to supporting Charlyne's belief that love is nothing more than an invention. That is, how could love be this universal magical thing if people nearly contradict each other in describing it? And while that would seem to imply that this movie is against contributing to the validation of love as an actual experience, I think the relationship between Charlyne and Michael could imply the opposite. What I found to be the most interesting thing about Paper Heart was the contrast between Charlyne's actions and her words.

Paper Heart is a movie which explores a subject most people wonder about in some capacity. It gives accounts of love from the young and old, married and divorced. It's got charm, a quirk factor that's off the charts, and an incredible writer/actress in Charlyne Yi.

Paper Heart gets a five out of five:

The Terminator Series

It's time I got back in the game, and I thought what better way to do so than escorting you through a beloved franchise of mine: The Terminator series. That's right, I'm going to explore the world first introduced to us by famed film maker James Cameron with The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day. However, as most know, the journey doesn't end there. Hence, I'll also take on Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines and Terminator Salvation. There's also room for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, one of my most recent "Hey, I was watching that" shows to fall under the Fox programming ax. There may even be room to include my thoughts on the Terminator 3D attraction at the Universal Studios theme parks.

So why Terminator? My introduction to the Terminator franchise happened at a fairly young age (around 5 years old), possibly too young seeing as how the first film I saw, Judgment Day, carried a not so lax R rating. I did eventually catch the first film, and I made sure to watch the third one during the theatrical release. It was around the time of the third movie that I recognized how much of a fan of the Terminator universe I was. I was old enough to appreciate the paradoxical birth of John Connor, whose initials coincide with another miracle born prophesied savior of mankind, Jesus Christ. I understood the philosophy of the films as they explored topics such as what it means to be human and the consequences of our technology lust. As a kid, Judgment Day was an incredibly fun action movie with great catch-lines. As a young adult, it came to mean something much more significant. It is this something I wish to explore with this upcoming series of posts. I look forward to recounting the way I experience this universe, and I hope you won't go too hard on me when I gush over black sheep like Terminator 3. That's all for now, but I'll be back.